I want to get out of the relationship on a civil/amicable basis. What is the best way to do that?
Every situation is different. Generally, you will want to tell your spouse the relationship is over instead of having your spouse find out through a letter your lawyer sends. Usually, it is not a good idea to take overly aggressive actions as you may risk inflaming the situation.
Find a lawyer that will take a fair, but firm approach, and get advice on what to do and what not to do.
Take a reasonable position with your spouse when resolving the issues. Most matters that go to court really don’t need to be there. An unreasonable position could prompt your spouse to start court proceedings.
In most cases, the best option for everyone is to avoid court. Court proceedings can be lengthy, expensive, emotionally draining, and the end result can be uncertain. An agreement worked out without court is usually cheaper, quicker, and is one that the parties will both follow willingly.